The Bone Dust (Dark Souls Short Story 11)
by MrsLittletall
Summary: Ornstein has to face a truth he doesn't like. Relationship: Dragon Slayer Ornstein/Executioner Smough


(Author's note: On my tumblr there had been some asks about how Ornstein would handle Smough's cannibalistic behaviour and if he would join it. Back then, I was blocking off, but realized, that I was also blocking out a complete characteristic of Smough. So I came up with this fic to explore this characterisc. So as a warning, there is some minor cannibalism in this fic, but nothing too explicit. If you are very sensitive about this stuff, I would propose to not read any further.

For everyone else, please enjoy!)

"Ornstein, would you hand me the thyme?"

"Sure.", the dragon slayer was reduced to the kitchen helper now, helping out Smough cooking their dinner. He wandered to the shelf where Smough kept all his seasonings in little bottles. He still wasn't good at recognizing them by looks alone so he had to look at the labels Smough had put on them.

After he had found the thyme, he noticed a bottle with some strange dusty powder in it. Huh, he hadn't seen that seasoning ever before. Curiously Ornstein took the bottle and read the label, only to freeze in place for a while when he read "Bone Dust" on it.

"What is taking so long, Ornstein?", Smough wanted to know.

Ornstein unfroze: "I am coming." He walked over to Smough, handed him the thyme and waited for the right moment to confront him about the bone dust bottle he had found. The moment Smough had set the lid on the pot to let it cook, Ornstein pulled out the battle and showed it Smough: "Would you care to explain me that?"

Smough went really pale upon seeing the bone dust bottle: "Oh no, Ornstein, you are misunderstanding this. I have never put this into your food, I swear."

Ornstein looked at the bottle in disgust: "But... you have eaten that, right? Why else should you have this around?"

"Well, yes... but why should that bother you? Haven't I already told you about the traditions of my village and that eating the remains of the dead is our way of not letting their death go to waste?"

Ornstein shook his head: "It shouldn't bother me? I am the guy who kisses you by the way. So yes, it bothers me very much."

He looked down at the bottle, then at Smough: "I thought you had changed..."

Smough grew really angry: "Are you really saying that? After all that shit you have put me through!?"

Someone could have stabbed Ornstein's heart as well, so much did these words hurt. He felt a mix of confusion and anger, but mostly sadness. He looked down on the floor, trying very hard not to break down right here and then.

"So this is how you really think about me.", he said in a choked voice, then turned around and rushed out of the room.

"Ornstein, wait.", Smough called, but his boyfriend was already out of sight. Smough had hated that look of digust on his face. The look he had gotten far too often for his cannibalistic behaviour. He had explained the whole situation to Ornstein and it seemed like the dragon slayer had understood him, but this felt like a setback. And now Smough still saw the shocked look on Ornstein's face the moment he had called him out for his mental problems.

But this time Smough was sure of one thing, he had done enough sugar coating. He had to talk to Ornstein and his boyfriend had to face the truth. The executioner had an idea where he could have run off too and was on his way.

Shortly afterwards he was standing before Ornstein's old room. Ornstein rarely used it anymore, cause they shared a room now. But Smough knew he was in there, cause Ornstein had put his personal fog gate up. That was a clear sign at how upset the dragon slayer was if he didn't even want his boyfriend to enter the room. Smough had to talk to him through the fog gate then. He raised his voice: "Ornstein, we need to talk."

Ornstein heard Smough's voice from beyond the fog gate. He really didn't want to talk.

"Go away.", he said. "I know when I am not required."

"I won't. I know you well enough by now and I am sure you are having one of your mental breakdowns right now.", came the executioner's voice through the fog gate.

That was true, Ornstein had broke down the moment he had put up the fog gate. He was shivering, breathing heavily and could feel tears streaming down his cheeks. He just wanted to be alone. Why didn't Smough understand this?

"Just leave me alone.", he murmured. "Like everyone did. I never deserved to be happy. How could I even think it was possible?" He put his hands over his face, sobbing a bit.

"See and that is the problem.", Smough said. "Do you think I like seeing you putting down like that? Ornstein, I love you, but things like that... are difficult to handle. I have to take awful care of what I say to you. You are often barely able to get out of bed and it worries me to no end. I hate seeing when you have one of those breakdowns. I give my very best to help you with it and I was hoping that you would get over it, but I had to accept that this a part of you. A part I don't like, but upon entering this relationship I knew that I had to take the bad things with the good things."

Ornstein could hear Smough taking a deep breath: "And that applies to you too. There may be things about me that you don't like or even despise. But these are things that make me myself. I just ask of you to accept these things, even if you think they are flaws. How I did with you."

Ornstein had stopped shivering when Smough had said this words. But he wasn't able to answer right now. "Please give me some time... to think.", he requested.

"I will keep the food warm and wait till you are ready.", the executioner's voice came a last time through the fog gate and then Ornstein could hear him walk away.

Ornstein realized that he still had the bone dust bottle in his hands. He stared at it. This was a part of Smough. A part of Smough he had known about but denied all this time. The words of the executioner had left some impact on him. He had to take the good with the bad...

Had Ornstein only fallen in love with Smough because it had made him feel better? Had he only seen the things he liked at Smough but always denied the ones he didn't want to face? And that after he had showed Smough his true self, the broken shell of the man who they once had called the dragon slayer. And Smough did so much to help Ornstein feel better about himself. He always cheered him up when he was sad, he had always encouraging words for him and he was always there if he had a mental breakdown. Ornstein had never questioned how Smough felt about this. Had he ever tried to truly understand his boyfriend? Looking at the bone dust bottle, Ornstein needed to make a decision.

Around an hour later, Ornstein was standing in the door frame of the kitchen. Smough was sitting on the table, looking angry and sad at the same time. Ornstein decided to make the first step and approached his boyfriend: "Smough?"

Smough looked up upon hearing Ornstein's voice: "Oh, you came back."

Ornstein took a deep breath before talking: "I am here to apologize. Without you, I would live in a mess. I wouldn't eat right. I wouldn't take care of myself. I would just give up. But you are always there and make me... not give up. But I always took this for granted. I never thought about your feelings. And because of that..."

He held out the bone dust bottle to Smough: "I want to try it."

Smough looked from the bottle to Ornstein and back with a very confused look on his face. Then he registered: "Wait, what? Ornstein, you don't have to do this. I am totally fine with you understanding the point I was trying to make."

"I want to.", Ornstein said. "I want to try and understand you better. This is a part of you, right? Please. Let me try it."

"You really sure about this?", Smough asked and took the bone dust from Ornstein. "Well, give me a moment to prepare your food with it."

Ornstein sat down at the table, waiting. Was he really going to do this? No, no second thoughts. He had decided to try it out. He needed to do this. He needed to prove to himself that his love for Smough was real and not just self indulgent.

It didn't take long and the plate was standing before Ornstein. He slowly took up the spoon. There was no turning back now. He put it into the meal and swallowed it so quickly that he couldn't even taste it. Fine, the next one should be slower. He took another deep breath and tasted the entirety of the meal this time. And it didn't even taste bad. Smough's cooking was great as usual. And he had to admit, the seasoning kind of gave it an extra kick... He took a few more bites, starting to enjoy the meal until his conscience kicked back in and he realized what he was eating right now.

A short while later Ornstein had puked out all the food he eaten for now. Smough must have seen this coming, cause he had handed Ornstein a bucket to throw up into the moment it happened.

"I am sorry.", Ornstein said. "I tried, but I guess I wasn't ready for it."

"Ornstein, do you know how much it meant to me that you even wanted to try it out?", Smough said, stroking his boyfriend's back. "That was all what I wanted from you. You don't have to like this side of me, I just want you to accept it."

Smough handed his boyfriend some water so that he could clean out the bad taste of his mouth.

"I understand what you wanted to say, Smough.", Ornstein said. "And I know that you have to take the good and the bad things that come with your partner in a relationship. To be honest, I did this mainly for you, but I also wanted to prove something to myself."

Ornstein looked to the side before continuing: "It was a really scary thought, because of that I felt like I just had to try it for myself."

"And you did well.", Smough picked his boyfriend up to hug him tightly.

"And you know that, Smough?", Ornstein said, snuggling into his embrace. "There is another thing we could do."

"And that would be?", the executioner wanted to know.

Ornstein grinned a little at his boyfriend: "Playing pretend."

(Author's note: I commissioned tumblr user heliicon with drawing a scene from this fic which you can find here: post/176484847824/finished-commission-for-mrslittletall-of-a-scene

Please give them some support. I absolutely love how it turned out.)


End file.
